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2008-11-29

Deaf Anthology # 130: "Pardon"

Washington (DEF) A Deaf hunter was arrested yesterday for trespassing at Camp David. Secret Service spokesman stated that he's no threat to the President since he's at the economic summit in Europe. Bob, the Deaf man parole was revoked for possession of a firearm, even though he have a license to hunt. Felons don't have the rights that we citizens have taken for granted, regardless Camp David is off-limits. According to Bob's wife, "he was upset that he didn't get a pardon, which then President Clinton granted to a turkey, while he was in prison." Secret Service confirmed that he was after a particular turkey,Click to get cool Animations for your MySpace profile Barabbass, that irked him. George W. Bush pardoned a turkey that recently left for Disney World. If Ben Franklin had his way, the turkey would have been our national symbol, rather then the bald eagle, with its protected status. In a video released to the media, Barabbas was gobbling up food, while Socks, the White House feline, being disgusted at the intruder. Bob returned to prison to serve out the rest of his sentence. Legal Aid sources indicated that Bob once tried to get an injunction to stop the annual Presidential tradition of pardoning a turkey before Thanksgiving. Deaf advocates have filed several discrimination complaints on his behalf, that rehabilitation services weren't accessible to him, because the prison failed to provide him with an interpreter. Legal Aid were not able to communicate with him either as the prison don't have a tty device. "I agreed with him that a turkey have more rights than inmates," John, a free-lance writer working on Bob's biography. Unfortunately, several days later, Bob was killed after escaping into the wood overnight, mistook being a turkey, after failing to response to a call from a hunter that shot him hiding in the bushes.
Revised 11/29/08
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Deaf Anthology # 129: "Black Friday"

John: "Kids, pack up, we're going camping."
Joshua: "Dad, I thought we're setting up in the woods, not in front of Wal-Mart."
Joan: "It's Black Friday!"
Jimmy: "Weren't you arrested on a Black Friday while protesting at Gallaudet?"
John: "My eyes set on that 42" flat screen tv."
Joshua: "Why? You already got ______ (fill in a NFL team) season tickets."
Joan: "We can watch Heidi in HD!"
Joshua: "Dad, that guy just cut in front of us." (John tapped on the guy's shoulder and made a gesture sign "OUT", but the guy gave him a finger)
Guy: "My eyes set on that 42" flat screen tv." (Joan gestured that we're Deaf, crowd became restless, Jimmy kicked the guy in the shin, fight erupted, police were summoned to the scene, both John and the guy were arrested for disorderly conduct, Joan had to bail him out)
Jimmy: "Dad, you got yourself arrested on a Black Friday again, guess they'll replace the CEO of Wal-Mart." (smile)
Smokey: "The Simpsons were seen shopping Click to get cool Animations for your MySpace profileat Wal-Mart, Bart stock up on Butterfingers, while Homer got himself a 42" flat screen tv."
Revised 11/29/08
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Deaf Anthology # 128: "Dr. Pepper"

Joan: "How's the Deaf Expo?"
John: "Got myself free t-shirts from every relay service provider booths."
Joan: "Just as long as you don't have to fill out those credit card applications."
John: "I know, as most Deaf, I'll do anything to get something for free, anyway on the way back, I stopped to get several cases of free Dr. Pepper."
Joan: "You don't drink Dr. Pepper."
John: "I think they are good drain cleaners."
Jill: "Dad, can I have my allowances now, we're going to the mall."
John: "It's Black Friday!"

Jill: "Will pick up Guns N Roses' new albumClick to get cool Animations for your MySpace profile, Chinese Democracy."
Joan: "We can expect the neighbors to call the police again tonight, our Deaf daughter loves earth shattering vibrations." (doorlight flashes)
Mailman: "Is that your car in the driveway, you shouldn't left anything in this heat."
John: "Dr. Pepper, they are exploding!"
Jimmy: "Cool!"
John: "It will cost at least a hundred to clean up the mess."
Joan: "So much for free stuff." (laughing)
Joshua: "Dad, let me recycle the cans, to earn a few pennies toward college."
Smokey: "If you want a free Dr. Pepper, go to http://www.drpepper.com/ , we'll drink to that!
(offer expires 6 pm EST, Monday, November 24th)
Revised 11/29/08
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2008-11-26

Deaf Anthology #127: "West Side Story"


Giovanna Vazquez, Deaf, plays Maria in 'West Side Story.'

There is a high school production Click to get cool Animations for your MySpace profile"West Side Story," in Miami area involving two gangs, hearing versus Deaf, Jets (without Brett Favre) versus Sharks, creative isn't it, here are some videos available from various sources, since they were already broadcasted, so they ought to be closed-captioned.
CBS 4, Miami

Miami Herald

BY NIRVI SHAH AND KIRSTIN MAGUIRE
nshah@MiamiHerald.com
In this version of the classic Broadway musical West Side Story, Maria falls in love with Tony without saying a word.
Instead, her hands do the singing -- by signing.
South Plantation High school's 2008 version of the nearly 50-year-old tale stars deaf and hearing students who, together, have spun an entirely new theatrical confection.
In the classic, the Puerto Rican Sharks and the 'American' Jets spar for control over the neighborhood. But Maria, sister of Sharks leader Bernardo, falls in love with Tony, a former Jet.
In this version, the culture clash goes beyond ethnicity: The Sharks are also deaf.
After months of planning, practicing and learning sign language, the show opened this week and continues through next weekend.
Maria is played by junior Giovanna Vazquez, who signs her parts, and junior Kellie Smith, who matches her voice to Giovanna's hands.
Tony's role belongs to senior Justin White, who has learned to sign, sing and act all at once.
South Plantation is where most of Broward's hard-of-hearing and deaf high school students -- about 40 -- attend classes.
''We've used American Sign Language as another form of communication. Every word, every song, is signed,'' said drama teacher Jason Zembuch, who started incorporating deaf students into school theater productions about five years ago.
Giovanna, Kellie and Justin had to work painstakingly to perfect their timing.
''You have to make your hands look like they're singing,'' said Justin, who has never had a role in a musical before, much less one so complex. ``The audience wants to know you're not just talking.''
IMPORTANT DETAILS
The League for the Hearing Impaired also offered advice, pointing out little details that can make a big difference to deaf members of the audience, said Allyson Dudich, the group's education coordinator.
The director ''had to make sure that everybody is seen fully from the front because they're using their hands,'' Dudich said. ``People in the audience are not going to get anything from the story if they can't see.''
Deaf cast members also helped make sure hearing characters' roles appear authentic.
Senior Frank Gonzalez -- who is not deaf -- plays Bernardo, Maria's brother.
''It's one of the best parts I've ever played,'' said Frank, 18, who now finds himself signing all the time. ``I can express myself just through my hands.''
It took him a while to get to that point, he said. ''I used to move my mouth a lot -- I'm not supposed to,'' he said.
This production is changing the dynamics at South Plantation, Dudich said. ''Historically, there's really been a separation, and deaf kids haven't really immersed themselves with the rest of the students,'' she said.
''For the lead role to be one of the deaf students, it starts to change everything. Everyone sees how talented [the deaf] are and how they can do everything everyone else can except hear,'' Dudich said.
Giovanna said she never considered acting until she met Zembuch.
''They have really worked with me,'' she said. ``I've learned a lot from this.''
Besides using deaf students and sign language -- the entire production is signed by three different students -- the production is infused with deaf culture. When Tony comes for Maria at the fire escape, she cannot hear him calling. So he shakes the ladder so she can feel its vibration.
When Maria's father calls her from offstage, the lights flash to indicate it.
NEW OPPORTUNITIES
High schools rarely put on deaf theater productions, said Aaron Kubey, executive director and president of the National Theatre of the Deaf.
``It means a lot to me that the school is willing to find a challenge -- a learning experience -- and show people that we really can be actors, we can do theater.''
Dudich credits director Zembuch with opening up a new career field for her students.
'What deaf kid would have thought `Hey, I'm going to go into theater sound and lighting?' The more people that open up and bring these kids in just shows that these kids can do what everybody else can do.''
But Kellie, who had the script for her dream role memorized months ago, was skeptical of Zembuch's concept at first.
''What? You split Maria apart?'' she remembers thinking. ``Now, I love it. I think it's genius.''
Zembuch, too, has learned sign language, and fires off instructions comfortably with his hands from the stage back to the control booth, where deaf senior Jesse Whitelaw is working lights.
''Jason expects the same from them as he does from everybody else,'' said interpreter Helene Cohn, ``which doesn't happen a lot in the real world.''
In the scene where Tony declares his love for Maria, actors Justin and Giovanna are on the fire escape. On the ground, Kellie sings Maria's lines:
''Tonight, tonight,'' she sings.
Justin's right hand signs in tandem with Giovanna's left:
``Tonight, tonight. The world is wild and bright.''
ABC NEWS
Just click on http://abcnews.go.com/playerIndex?id=6334740 , so check it out, popcorn anyone?
Deaf Anthology acknowledge ABC, CBS and the Miami Herald.
Revised 11/26/08
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Deaf Anthology # 126: "1620"

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There were a couple of Deaf families on the Mayflower, among them the Johnsons, seeking a new life in America, a land of opportunities where discrimination are nonexistence, at least at the time. When they arrived on shore in Plymouth, they almost had a confrontation with the hostile Indians, but John Johnsons, Deaf, was summoned to mediate between them, as sign language was the node of communication. Just imagined history could be another way around, a massacred, but the Deaf saved their scalps. The pilgrims were invited to a night of gambling in Foxboro, won a few turkeys. That's why Vikings never returned after losing years ago. Winter will soon be here so let's harvest the crops. We invited the Indians to our pot luck dinner, they got drunk on Samuel Adams beer, we shorten their life span stuffing them up. Wait a minute, that's not the Thanksgiving story our parents taught us. Governor Carver asked John to do him a favor, to chiseled in the date "1620," on a rock at the beach, a little known fact in Deaf history that Jack Gannon overlooked. The Johnsons went into the cordage business, their primary market was overseas, the Indians provided cheap labor. Diseases are taking its toll, so it's time for the Johnsons and the other Deaf settlers to move on, Martha's Vineyard became their new homestead.
Revised 11/26/08
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2008-11-25

Deaf Anthology # 125: "Deaf Joke"

While preparing for a Thanksgiving meal, it's a good time to crack a Deaf joke, where is the heck that turkey anyway?
I'll assume that you have already heard this joke before, it probably doesn't make sense anyway, you ever have a friend telling you that he is the fastestClick to get cool Animations for your MySpace profile gunslinger ever, so he just stood there doing nothing as if he is ready to draw his gun, then asking, " want to see it again?", he was faster thanthe blink of your eyes. You would be history if this is the real duel. Now let's get on with a Deaf joke, excuse me, there is an interruption, Misha, would you stop laughing like a horse and let me finish my joke. (we now go to a commercial while Misha regained her posture)
Commercial: "You ever wonder if there any Deaf pilgrims on the Mayflower, next on Deaf Anthology # 126: 1620"
This Deaf joke always work with hearing people if you want to catch them off guard. Just go up to them and ask them if they want to hear a Deaf joke, when they replied affirmitive, just as them "if they want to hear it again?" That's all to it. (Misha laughing in background)
Revised 11/25/08
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This is Smokey, stay tuned for the next episode of Deaf Anthology. Good night, Deaf America!

2008-11-24

Deaf Anthology # 124: "Virus"

This blog contained a Deaf virus, do not click on the website if you don't want to be contaminated. Now that you are reading this, you should have taken the warning seriously, if you are Deaf you have nothing to worry about, the Deaf virus will only affect those who are hearing, it makes the computer Click to get cool Animations for your MySpace profileDeaf by knocking out the sound bytes. What it does mean is that the hearing will not be able to upload itunes, your twin speakers will be useless. Welcome to our silent world. To eliminate the Deaf virus, first of all you have to shut it down and sanitized it inside and out. I will recommended that you insert a condom to your telephone jack to prevent this ever happening again. If you are Deaf and this computer belongs to your hearing brother, I suggest that you run for your life, better yet replace it if you can afford it. Seeing the numbers of hits, I will know how many fall for this gag.
Revised 11/24/08
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This is Smokey, stay tuned for the next episode of Deaf Anthology. Good night, Deaf America!

2008-11-21

Deaf Anthology # 123: "Blowjob"

A mother of a Deaf child was released from custody after misunderstandings were cleared up, according to the child protection service. The delay was caused by a lack of obtaining an interpreter for questioning. This is the most unusual case ever to come forward in the agency's history. A public school teacher reported to authorities a Deaf child that claims to be given a "blowjob" by his mother frequently. The Deaf child was temporarily placed in a Deaf foster home overnight, while the mother was bewildered, declining to ever abusing his Deaf son. The Deaf child kept complaining that he doesn't have a "cold," and wondered why his mother insists that he blows his nose. The teacher originally thought it was something "sexual" in nature, and didn't bother to ask the child to elaborated at to what he meant. The mother was obviously embarrassed when confronted, she clarified that she read in a newspaper that a Deaf hearing was restored after he blow his nose, and was hoping that the same miracle will happen to her son. The Deaf child, being at age of innocence, uses the word "blowjob," not knowing what the fuses about. The Deaf child was reunited with his mother, with the stipentation that she would take up ASL in an outreach program, and to bound with her son, accepting his Deaf identity.
Revised 11/21/08
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This is Smokey, stay tuned for the next episode of Deaf Anthology. Good night, Deaf America!

2008-11-19

Deaf Anthology 122: "Outsourcing"

A major relay service provider have decided last night at its Board meeting to outsource all interpreters jobs to overseas in India, effective in January. According to informed sources on the conditions of not being identified, will make an announcement of their intentions sometimes next week, after first having an in-service discussion with its field employees. All relay centers in the United States and Canada will closed, hundreds of interpreters will be laid off. The headquarter and its consumer services will be based in Indianapolis. Transfer opportunities will be available. Several interpreters have already received the pink slips, and are devastated, and will filed a complaint with labor relations citing that they were not given reasonable advanced notices. The new relay service centers will be in temporary offices rented in both Mumbai and Delhi, India until a permanent location that meets its specifications are found. A well-known Deaf Indian snake charmerClick to get cool Animations for your MySpace profile have been hired to be director of operations, his task was to hire several technical support personnel to meet the deadline. Dr. Bengal, who attended Gallaudet, and received his PhD from the University of Calcutta recalled from childhood seeing a videophone on the Jetsons and knew from then on that is a technology that the Deaf will someday embraced, "I am glad to be of service to our American Deaf relay consumers, and with access to satellites spanning the globe, we can reach out to the Deaf on all four corners of the earth. A team of Deaf employees are now on its way to India to hire and train interpreters from local universities where they have been teaching ASL for the last several semesters. A few Pakistanis have also been hired to assist with the transition. The reasoning is that interpreters in the United States are expensive to hire because we must provide them with health insurance, sick leave, and other benefits in order to retain them. The labor pool in India are plentiful and cheap, allowing us to increase our profit margin. We aren't in this business for nothing but to meet our shareholders expectation of a return on their investments. I don't see a problem with that as our videophones are imported from China and there won't be any deterioration in service that our Deaf consumer feared. The Deaf often complained that we take away interpreters from them as they were having problems scheduling ones for their medical appointments, job interviews, classrooms, etc. This will be resolved once our former interpreters exhausted their unemployment benefits. In Janruary, you will notice the changes, it will take a while for our Deaf consumers getting used to having Indian interpreters. We are also presently looking at locations throughout Pakistan if we decided to expanded our operations.
Revised 11/19/08

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2008-11-17

Deaf Anthology # 121: "McDonald's"

Yesterday, I went to a McDonald's Drive-In and I gestured to the cashier that I am Deaf and wanted something to write my order on for a hamburger Click to get cool Animations for your MySpace profileand she gave me a Braille menu, so I wonder if there is a Blind drivers out there on the road.
Revised 11/17/08

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2008-11-10

Deaf Anthology # 120: "Deafening"

Veterans Day is here. The holiday was originally Armistic Day to honored those who serve in the first World War. Eisenhower changed it to Veterans Day during his administration. There is a new novel out, "Deafening" from a Canadian writer, Frances Itani, about a Deaf woman on the home front, whose husband went off to to war in Europe.
Our bookwormClick to get cool Animations for your MySpace profile is taking a shot at this novel, here is his reviews.
Grania O'Neil lost her hearing at age five from scarlet. Her mother, Agnes, felt guilty of causing her deafness, praying for a (sounds familiar) miracle. Grania also have a younger brother, Patrick and an older sister, Tressa.It was Grania's grandmother, Mamo, that recommended that she be placed at the Ontario Institution for the Deaf where she learn ASL. After graduation, she work at the school hospital where she met her future husband, Jim, a hearing man. Grania depends on her lipreading skills, but why don't he learn sign language to make communication.
Jim enlisted and went of to the trenches of Europe. We can see life on the homefront during the first world war as Grania felt a sense of loneliness, writing back and forth during the two years. The novel is available on Amazon. On this day, let us remember those who are still in harm's way in both Afghanistan and Iraq and hope that Obama will be able to bring them home soon, so that we can live in peace.
Revised 11/10/08
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2008-11-06

Deaf Anthology # 119: "Freshkid"

Deaf Anthology were able to meet up with Bob, Gallaudet youngest freshman in history, he is only 11 years old, can you imagine that, it's unbelievable. These are the transcripts from that interview:
DA: "What are you doing on campus, why so young?"
Bob: "I dropped out of elementary school after reading somewhere that the average Deaf graduated from high school with a fourth grade reading level, so I felt it's not worth wasting the next eight years of my life not being challenged, so went to night school, got my GED, and passed SAT, was accepted into Gallaudet, and here I am, the "Freshkid." (smile)
DA: "What about your friends back home, don't you missed being with your peers?"
Bob: "No, there is no life playing Playstation day after day, my friends envy me as they are struggling with an authoritarian teacher who makes their life miserable, here on campus, I keep myself busy tutoring Seniors in my field mathematics, getting a head start on life earning toward a life of backpacking after graduation."
DA: "What about sports."
Bob: "I wasn't able to join any Gallaudet teams due to NCAA rules and liability issues, so I play soccer with KDES pupils being their captain."
DA: "You have any girlfriend?"
Bob: "Yes, she's older, 14, mature, a MSSD student that I meet at Union Station, we been dating ever since, it took her parents awhile to accept me, even assisting her father on filing the tax returns properly." (laughing)
DA: "Is there any disadvantages of being a 11 years old college kid."
Bob: "I am too young to drink, so I avoid parties where they serve alcohol, Click to get cool Animations for your MySpace profilewas unable to vote (but did assist the Obama campaign in distributing their flyers on campus) , and worst of all being asked where my parents are."
Revised 11/06/08
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This is Smokey, stay tuned for the next episode of Deaf Anthology. Good night, Deaf America!

2008-11-04

Deaf Anthology # 118: "King Jordan"

Deaf Anthology was able to obtain exclusive interview with King Jordan in his suite at an resort in Aquba on the Red Sea where he is on vacation scuba diving. After watching the news with an ASL* interpreter, he insist that we watch a rerun of Voyager episode of "Investigations" where he have a role. During one of the commercial, we have to pray facing Mecca, ever get a sore back doing it five times a day. The nanny took his four children out of the room so we can have some sanity. I notice on the wall his geneology, being a descendant of Mohammad.
Deaf Anthology: "How was scuba diving?"Click to get cool Animations for your MySpace profile
King Jordan: "We found many Egyptian chariots under the Red Sea, from the days of Exocus, we hope to develope this area as a major tourist attraction, being an economic free zone, we were able to attract foreign investors." (I'm confused, didn't he taught Psychology?)
Deaf Anthology: "What is your assessment of education of the Deaf nowadays?"
King Jordan: "We have a 90% literacy rate."
Deaf Anthology: "How was life since you left Gallaudet?"
King Jordan: "I don't understand, I attended Georgetown." (checking my notes)
Deaf Anthology: "I must apologized, your majesty, I didn't realized that I was interviewing the King of Jordan Abdullah, but it was quite an experience."
King Jordan: (laughing) "You probably meant I. King Jordan, we just met while we were scuba diving, we have the same interests, he's in suite 4516, hope you will join us tonight as our local Deaf Jordanians will have a performances."
Deaf Anthology: "Sorry, I have a deadline to meet."
*Arabic Sign Language
Revised 11/04/08
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This is Smokey, stay tuned for the next episode of Deaf Anthology. Good night, Deaf America!

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