2013-07-09

Matchup

Another UFC Deaf fighter from St. Louis, known as the "Nail," will be making his first professional debut against the well-established Matt Hamill, otherwise known as the "Hammer." First let's discuss this unknown fighter, Mark, a CID alumni, grown up in the ghettos, often bullied as a child, decided to train on his own at an improvised gym in an abandoned building, dropped out and ran away from home just shy of his 16th birthday. He got the nickname, "Nail," after receiving  a cochlear-implant, against his will, becoming estranged from his family ever since. The template, above his ears, still can be seen, as if someone has hammer a nail into his skull. At press conference he nervously joked that he always recharged himself before the bout.
This is ESPN live from Las Vegas, a match-up between two Deaf UFC fighters, "Hammer vs Nail," closed-captioned paid by your local Home Depot stores. "Here's the bell (fitted with a strobe flash), the first round is on....wait a minute....I can't believe this, someone just threw in the towel. It's Mark's mother entering the ring....the Nail (in disbelief) has just forfeited the title....what's the hell going on here? The overprotective mother just told our ESPN announcer that doctors told his son that he could never participated in any contact sports because the cochlear-implant mechanism is so fragile and any blunt blow to the head may be fatal." Obviously, the "Nail," is very upset and embarrassed by all these unwanted attention. This is the shortest bout in UFC history, and the Hammer (laughing) just walked away with a million dollar check without a scratch, taking off for Disney World with his family.

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