Horoscope been around since ancient times as man seek guidance from the stars.
ARIES: Your court appearance have been postponed once again for a parking ticket you got in 1962 because they still couldn't find an interpreter for you.
TAURUS: Replace the garbage disposal that burned out while you were on vacation.
GEMINI: "I wasn't speeding," but the sheriff stopped you asking that your muffler needs to be replaced, rattling our peaceful town.
CANCER: Your neighbors start moving out after your children set up a rock band, practicing in the basement.
LEO: You read a blog about a Deaf woman describing her affairs with several men, not realizing that it's your wife.
VIRGO: Your Deaf pastor wanted to know why you donated $500 to Gallaudet, nothing to the church.
LIBRA: You stopped contact with your mistress after your daughter got a job as a relay operator.
SCORPIO: Isn't your fault if the factory blown apart, not being trained to handle hazardous materials since they refused to provide an interpreter at safety talks.
SAGITTARIUS: The family enjoyed free open-captioned movies every week, with "We're sorry..." passes for the delays after forgetting to turn it on.
CAPRICORN: You were terminated after 15 years on the job for 15 seconds of fame on local news your boss watch on the day you call in sick attending an AFA rally.
AQUARIUS: Got off in Dublin instead of Detroit, no wonder your flight so long, free vouchers to get drunk at the local pub, and a meal of corned beef and cabbages.
PISCES: "Show me your, and I will show you mind," the nude model at tonight's painting class was the same interpreter at your prostate exam.