2013-07-31

Waitress

DC Police have taken into custody a former waitress at an Italian restaurant, accussed of credit card fraud, a felony, after receiving several complaints from Gallaudet students with unauthorized charges on their account. The waitress complains to the judge that Gallaudet students who frequented her restaurant never leave a tip, and that she is struggling to make ends meet as a single mother of two. The waitress was released on probation, and ordered to pay an restitution to all those affected. Washington Post investigators noted that the waitress always add the tip to the credit card without the students' knowledge, and this been going on over a year as most students often even don't bother to check the receipts they signed. University officials are planning to add "tipping" workshops in their orientation program for incoming Freshmen in the fall.

ASL Immersion

Click to get cool Animations for your MySpace profile I notice that when hearing children goes to a public school, they learn English as their primary language but in the middle school (4th grade) they get to choose a second language to learn, Spanish, French, etc. and become fluent. This causes me to start thinking about our Deaf educational system and maybe its about time to overall it. We Deaf are equal to our hearing counterparts so I propose that ASL, the Deaf primary language be taught first, then introduce English in the fourth grade. It's a new concept worth exploring, my hypothesis is that ASL immersion is the way to go!

Audism in America

"Audism in America" is a new documentary now in pre-production stage and the Deaf producer is in negotiation with Michael Moore to direct. We hope we'll wrap it up in time for the Sundance Film Festival this coming winter, and seek a distributor to cycle them into first-run theatres. The oralists and its supporters are trying to disrupt our efforts, launching a campaign to put pressures on major studios not to finance it. I'm looking forward to seeing "Audism in America" on the silver screen soon.

2013-07-30

ASL Across America

I remember participating in the "HANDS ACROSS AMERICA" event on Sunday, May 25, 1986, where approximately 7 millions Americans form a human chain across America holding hands for 15 minutes from New York to California, 4,152 miles, creating awareness and to raise funds for the hunger and the homeless. Is it possible for us Deafies to do a similar feat, having our own "ASL Across America" to create awareness and raise funds to support worthwhile Deaf organizations?

 
 

Mensa

The Lexington Deaf 5th grader whom recently won the National Spelling Bee championship today was inducted into Mensa with an IQ of 145, the first Deaf ever to join their exclusive organization.

2013-07-29

EBay

A Deaf peddler's ABC card (circa '30s) was recently sold on EBay for $1,357. The grandson found it in his Deaf Grandpa's footlocker in the basement after he passed away, that's how he supports his family during the Great Depression until he found a job in an ammunition factory after Pearl Harbor.

Jeopardy

On Jeopardy this week, various colleges are competing; wouldn't it be great if Gallaudet, NTID, and CSUN are given an opportunity participate on the program. I'm going to pitch the idea to the talent coordinator of the syndicated game show. 

Canadian Open

Click to get cool Animations for your MySpace profileIf you had a chance, would you rather stick around on the golf course to win $1 million with a two-shot lead going to the final round, or pack up your clubs and return home to be with your wife on the birth of your first child. PGA golfer Hunter Mahan got his priorities right, left the Canadian Open the moment he receives the text that his wife, Kandi, was in labor. That's love!

2013-07-27

Adoption

A Deaf couple, unable to conceived a child of their own, were excited when a Deaf newborn is available for adoption, they rushed to the hospital to bring him home but became that their Deaf child was already cochlear-implanted (CI) without their knowledge. The hospital spokesman, refuses to make a comment citing its privacy policy. However, an administrator admitted that it is "standard operating procedure" to cochlear-implanted (CI) every Deaf newborn. which is now just as common as circumcision. A federal judge granted temporary injunction, allowing state legislators to scheduled a hearing on this controversial issue. The Deaf parents are planning a civil lawsuit against the hospital. 

2013-07-26

Deaf Driver

Click to get cool Animations for your MySpace profile A Milwaukee squad car pull over a Deaf driver wearing a GMAD jersey, radioed for an interpreter, causing the Deaf driver to be late for the game. The sheriff told the Deaf driver, "you been going 65 mph in a 45 mph zone." Deaf driver replied that he is a pitcher on a GMAD baseball team and in a hurry. The sheriff told him to get out of the car and told him to pitch the ball while he aim the radar gun; "If you can pitch faster than the speed you were going (65 mph), I'll not write you up." The Deaf driver pitch was clocked at 55 mph and was then was given the ticket. He took himself out of the game that night when he noticed the umpire was the sheriff himself. What a coincident!

Deaf Pilot

Click to get cool Animations for your MySpace profileThe FAA suspended indefinitely a Deaf pilot license after flying over restricted airspace over Washington, DC. The incident occurred while enroute to an EAA event in Oshkosh, Wisconsin when he decided, without thinking, to divert from the original flight plan filed previously to pick up some Gallaudet friends which almost cost his life. F-16 fighter planes scrambled into the air when a blip of unknown origin appears on the radar screen heading toward the nation's capital. Patriot defense system also have been tracking the unidentified aircraft, locking into its target. The Deaf pilot failed to respond to radio contact, was escorted to a nearby military base for interrogations. The order to fire was reversed when a F-16 pilot, was able to make visual identification of the Cessna, its registration belonging to a Deaf pilot.

Deaf Unawareness Week

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It's Deaf Unawareness Week, just when you thought you know it all, but there may be something that we may be unaware of, are we missing the trends in our Deaf culture? Take for instance, the decline in the numbers of Deaf drivers on the roads, no, we didn't return to the stone age when we were forbidden to drive. We fought hard to remove those discriminatory laws of the books, to prove ourselves to insurance industries that we are safe drivers, often better than our hearing counterparts. Well, those days are gone, the reason that the majority of us Deaf drivers don't drive is because of the lack of affordable insurance, our premiums skyrocketed after a significant increase of accidents of us Deaf texting while driving. Safe drivers, it isn't so anymore. Technology improves our lives and yet shorten our lifespan.

2013-07-25

Words

Just read an article in a newspaper about an author who published a book asking celebrities to describe their life in six words. I'll take a shot at it, now it's your turn!
1. "I major in Psychology at Gallaudet."
2. "Deaf can do anything except hear."
3. "I can't lipread in the dark."
4. "You can contact me through relay."
5. "I am a blogger on Deafread."
6. "I watch captioned films on weekends."

Vegas

  A Deaf elderly woman has been hitting the jackpot several times in a row with coins filling up the hopper after inserting a handful of $20. It's her first time in Vegas, breaking even, and the casino treated her to a complimentary buffet, not having the heart to tell her that she was using a change machine, not the slots.

2013-07-24

Golden Spike

It's unbelievable that this Deaf hiker, heading West alongside the tracks suffers no injuries whatsoever, not even a scratch. "All I can remember that I picked up a golden spike and held it and felt the vibration from the tracks underneath me, and turn my back waiting for the impact of the California Zephyr which ran through my body as if I was invisible." Amtrak unable to explain the paranormal event, nevertheless decided not to press charges for trespassing, citing he's "lucky to be alive." The Deaf suspects the ghosts of the laborers saved his life.

Remote

Went to an estate sale of a lonely Deaf widow, that of my distant who recently passed away, and among the household items, I can't help but notice the 144 remote controls among them and I inquired about them; her  son blames it on dementia, explaining "...she doesn't go out much, except for grocery and prescriptions, spending her last days in front of the TV set watching soaps, always misplacing her remotes."

2013-07-22

Jobs

The Texas Department of Corrections is an  Equal Opportunity Employer

Here is an opportunity here in Texas for those Deaf laid off during the recession; in order to achieve diversity in its workforce the state are encouraging the Deaf to participate in its training programs, scheduling an orientation session at several of its facilities, with an interpreter on site. The state hope to recruite at least a few Deaf inmates for jobs as license plate press operators. All will undergo background checks; must have a felony conviction to be qualified for these positions. Salary is below minimum wages, minus restitution, enough to purchase a pack of cigarette at the prison commissary to trade for protection from the gangs on your block. The job will look good on your resume before the parole board. If you are interested in applying for a job, just stick-up your local bank and get a sentence from a judge. All successful candidates will received an uniform, room and board, at state expenses.
 

Sports

A Gallaudet athlete who plays both baseball and football describes his experiences:
1. "I am so used to getting spiked at second, now I feared being tackled."
2. "I won't be thrown out for kicking a football, instead of the umpire's shin."
3. "I never learn to read, I'm here on a  scholarship to play.
4. "It's heavier to pass a football, but still clocked over 95 mph."
5. "It's great to watch the cheerleaders from the dugout, rather than that Bison mascot."
6. "I thought we'll be on ESPN, not the police blotter."
7. "It's one game, not four out of seven."
8. "It's a high fly ball, going, going, and it's gone, a touchdown."
9. "We start winning after the fans start using vuvuzelas"
10. "I'm going to Disney World!"

Deaf Horoscope




Horoscope been around since ancient times as man seek guidance from the stars.
ARIES: Your court appearance have been postponed once again for a parking ticket you got in 1962 because they still couldn't find an interpreter for you.
TAURUS: Replace the garbage disposal that burned out while you were on vacation.
GEMINI: "I wasn't speeding," but the sheriff stopped you asking that your muffler needs to be replaced, rattling our peaceful town.
CANCER: Your neighbors start moving out after your children set up a rock band, practicing in the basement.
LEO: You read a blog about a Deaf woman describing her affairs with several men, not realizing that it's your wife.
VIRGO: Your Deaf pastor wanted to know why you donated $500 to Gallaudet, nothing to the church.
LIBRA: You stopped contact with your mistress after your daughter got a job as a relay operator.
SCORPIO: Isn't your fault if the factory blown apart, not being trained to handle hazardous materials since they refused to provide an interpreter at safety talks.
SAGITTARIUS: The family enjoyed free open-captioned movies every week, with "We're sorry..." passes for the delays after forgetting to turn it on.
CAPRICORN: You were terminated after 15 years on the job for 15 seconds of fame on local news your boss watch on the day you call in sick attending an AFA rally.
AQUARIUS: Got off in Dublin instead of Detroit, no wonder your flight so long, free vouchers to get drunk at the local pub, and a meal of corned beef and cabbages.

PISCES: "Show me your, and I will show you mind," the nude model at tonight's painting class was the same interpreter at your prostate exam. 

2013-07-20

Police Blotter

A Deaf man was recently arrested for indecent exposure to a minor at the local mall. Lawyers released a statement claiming that the Deaf in question was low functional, misunderstanding the "No shirt, No shoes, No service," sign that was posted so he thought it's alright to be naked from the waist down. The DA probably would order a psychological exam to determined if any charges should be filed in this case, noticing the Deaf shortcomings in its report. 

Interpreter Agency

An interpreter service firm decided to take actions to improve the skills of its interpreters it hires, a RID certificate isn't enough, and trying to get Deaf consumers to fill out its survey is too much of a hassle and time-consuming. After brainstorming, they came up with solution, requiring all interpreters to where a t-shirt with the "How Am I Interpreting...Dial 555-5ASL" imprinted on the back. Service have improved ever since.

Biblical Verses


Deaf Christians been dividing our church, arguing over biblical verses (doctrines), losing our focus on Jesus, so  here is a suggestion if you ever get into that situation, just simply reply; "I'd agree with you, but then we'll both be wrong."
 

2013-07-18

Heat Wave

The heat wave hits the northeast, the electric grids are holding up, but
fortunately for us Floridians, it rains every afternoon, providing us relief!

Water Bill

Just got my bill, the rates been slashed in half due to the abundant of water supplies. A assume it's because everyone is drinking bottled waters nowadays. Once Consumer Report conducted a blind test and discovered that the city tap water tastes better. Dentists are seeing more patients as bottled water doesn't contain fluoride.

Can Opener

I'm ticked off when my can opener breaks, now I understand how the cavemen feels when their spears breaks!

Salute

The original flag salute, was created by Francis Bellamy, a christian (also a socialist), who also wrote the original "Pledge of Allegiance," without the "under God," inclusion which wasn't added until after Hawaii and Alaska was admitted to the union (re: Red Skelton). The Bellamy flag salute became controversial when the Nazis adopted it during WWII. Congress then admended the Flag Code.

2013-07-17

Dig

Click to get cool Animations for your MySpace profileA Deaf man in Silver Spring died in a freak accident while planting a tree in his backyard. As he started to dig, his friend reminded him that he better call "Diggers Hotline" before he goes any further. "We get our power overhead...," ignoring his friend's warning. He fell through the hole he just dug, as he was getting himself up from the track below, he saw the bright light approaching, was killed instantaneously by a Metro subway that ran over him. 

Threat

Secret Service agents arrested a Deaf New Yorker for making threats against the President of the United States. White House switchboard received several undeciphered code messages and informed the Secret Service to investigate. While tracing the phone call, it was discovered to be that of a teletypewriter (TTY). The White House replaces the TTY with a videophone (VP) when it became obsolete. The Deaf New Yorker was released from custody after it was determined that it was not a threat, just an misunderstandings. The Deaf New Yorker just wanted to congratulate the President of winning the Nobel Peace prize. Obama was aware of the situation, apologized, inviting him to the White House.

Charles Darwin


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 "My opinion is not worth more than any other man."
                                                               Charles Darwin 
Charles Darwin "Origin of Species," are based on his observations so why the controversy. I ain't  going to debate with these Deaf Christians on the subject of  "evolution" as it's only a theory. I think both science and religion can co-exist. We once thought that we are the center of the universe!

Clunkers

Detroit blames their problems on Japanese imports when the government bailed them out. I didn't think the "Cash for Clunkers" program, where we trade our own gas guzzlers for a new car, will solve anything. It is a burden on our national debt, and also it doesn't prevent Americans us from  replacing them with more fuel efficient Japanese import. Despite the government efforts, we Americans haven't yet changed our habits of purchasing Japanese imports that has better quality. I assume that the government can't imposed restrictions urging us to buy American because of our membership in WTO. Ford is the only one not to dependent on government hangouts. I did questioned the timing of this program during a recession when many of us are unemployed and can't participate in the program.

2013-07-15

Trust Fund


Bail was denied to a Deaf woman who was arrested for kidnapping a Deaf infant a hospital in Manhattan, now facing a possibility of life in prison without parole. Unfortunately, the Deaf victim, now grown, was unable to collect the millions that was set aside in a trust fund from a civil lawsuit settled years ago because her biological parents has spent it all. It was released after she became of legal age, a federal judge ruled.

Edward Snowden

Edward Snowden claims to be a whistle blower but he went to the press, without going through the proper channels. He knows his rights, but chosen not to exercise them. It's just a tip of an iceberg, I suspect he's carrying a "dead pack," which meant he left behind more damaging secrets. perhaps with Wikileaks, with instructions that it its classified content to be released in the event of his capture. He's a threat to our national security, damaging our reputations aboard. It's like being on a ship, stuck in the ocean, not able to dock anywhere, a man without a country.

Deaf Christian Liberal

A Deaf Christian liberal is one who kept his personal beliefs to himself, but is social conscious, knows the differences between morality and civil rights, able to engage in discussions with open-minded Christians, transforming his faith, treat everyone with respect, and not being judgmental. A Deaf conservative Christian is just the opposite.

Audism Anonymous


Audism Anonymous is a new group therapy sessions, led by a Deaf psychotherapist deprogrammed former audist, and the first step toward recovery is to admit that they are audist. Patients are required to gain acceptance among the Deaf before they are released from the program. Check the yellow pages for the local Audism Anonymous in your area.

2013-07-14

Debate

There were a great debate between the oralist and the cultural Deaf scheduled to be held on the Gallaudet campus, both speakers have  impressive credentials. This event was made possible with a grant from a major corporate sponsor. It was well publicized in advanced, a catering service been contracted out, space set aside for booths, so much enthusiasm among the planning committee as it was projected that the audience would be packed full. Then realities sets in, no one shows up, blame it on on apathy. The vendors didn't participate and the, food had to be donated to the homeless, leaving us in debts. As least the speakers collected their fees and left town.

Fire

This is a common occurrences, Deaf children are dying in their  sleep from smoke inhalation, an tragic event that would've been preventable. Here's one incident to prove a point; in California there was a case where a home burned down to the grounds, killing all of its Deaf occupants. Newspaper investigators discovered that the Deaf parents repeatably been asking their local fire station for a free strobe smoke detectors that would've saved their lives. The Deaf, as taxpayers, have written to their to their aldermen complaining that they were being discriminated, because the city fails to make reasonable accommodation to provide a smoke detector that is superficially designed for the Deaf households, which was available free to everyone else.

Law and Disorder

The FBI agents arrested five Deaf VRS installers at a waterfront hotel for victimizing several Deaf elderly across the South. These Deaf claims to be working for a VRS company to gained access into their homes pretending to be upgrading their videophones (VP), one distracting them striking up a conversation, while the others are searching the premises stealing cash, credit cards, anything of value. These Deaf suspects disguised themselves wearing VRS t-shirts which they gotten free at the Deaf exposition. The Deaf elderly victims were able to identified them out of the lineup. A word of advice: Insist that these Deaf VRS installers show you their a driver's license and an employee card, and double check that with the VRS to confirm that they are legitimate. Don't let your guard down.

Robbery

Click to get cool Animations for your MySpace profileDeaf Anthology: This Deaf robber always have a habit of breaking into homes of Deaf families, using the addresses from the TDI directory. He was never caught until one night his flashlight awaken a Deaf child who signs to him that "Jesus watching you." The Deaf robber laughed it off and ignored the warning. The Deaf robber screamed in pain after being bitten in the crouch. The Deaf child signs to him, "You and Jesus, my dog, met." The Deaf suspect was handcuffed and taken into custody, held without bail. Police got a search warrant and recovered the stolen goods from a rented public storage.

Empty Nest

A Deaf suburbanite living outside of Milwaukee, a father who takes pride in almost everything he does, trying to be the most popular among us all. He constructed the biggest ever backyard treehouse for his Deaf children. Now the Deaf children already grown, studying at Gallaudet, leaving an "empty nest." A cold snap hits the area, the Deaf father decided to fill the abandoned treehouse with wild seeds for those birds who haven't migrated south, thereafter became known as the 'Deaf birdman"

Deaf Church


The First Baptist Church has its own sign out front, inviting us to join them on Sunday mornings, listing its bible study and service times. The Hispanic church across the street has it own sign out front, too, but in Spanish text. Here in America, our immigrants can worship their God in their own language. Since ASL, not English, is our primary language, a Deaf church in Danville, Kentucky was very innovative, creating a sign with a LED video of its Deaf pastor welcoming us all.

George Zimmerman


Usually a neighborhood watchman is unarmed, patrolling the area, and report any suspicious activities, and let the police handle it. What more can you expect here in the South, where racism still exist, where an all white jury decided the fate of one of their own kind, not guilty. George should have kept his distance, avoiding a confrontation, but, unfortunately, the life of black teenager been silenced, becoming another statistic, so chalk it up and move on. Justice is blind! My only concern is that it'll be more difficult to recruit citizens to "serve and protect" our cities as it's becoming more of a liability than an asset.

2013-07-13

Little League








Summer is here so get your Deaf kids out there to join a local Little League team.

Victim

An elderly Deaf couple, after picking up their prescriptions when, out of a dark, a man approaches them in the parking lot demanding money. The elderly Deaf woman, using gestures, pointed to her ear, indicating that she is Deaf, opened her purse, and pulled out a handgun pointing it at his forehead,  signing; "Me Deaf, You Dead." The suspect got the message alright, was held at bay until police arrived. 

Malala Yousafzai

"One child, one teacher, one book, and one pen can change the world!'
                                                                                      Malala Yousafzai  

PlayDeaf

Linda, a former Miss Deaf America will soon be featured in a Playboy centerfold.  She amitted she lost her virginity while in sixth grade at a Deaf institution, "...my parents never taught me about sex, as I couldn't communicate with them, our affairs didn't last long, until the dormitory supervisor confiscated the condoms from the boys. I'm very conscious about my image, to be the most beautiful." Linda now works as a model, play tennis during her free time, and is still single.

West Virginia

According to CDC, West Virginians have the highest percentages of smokers compare with California being the lowest. I can't imagine all those coal miners smoking after their shift, they ban smoking in the mines long before they imposed them on public places. That is obvious as you will be blown to bits if you flick a light with methane seeping out from the grounds. It ain't "Almost Heaven" in the Appalachians. I assume Californians, with all that sunshine, cares more about the image of their butts more than inhaling them.

Dingo

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Police are raiding the Deaf clubs across the Deep South, especially here in the Heart of the Dixie, confiscating evidences of widespread gambling activities among the Deaf, after receiving an anonymous tip from a disgruntled Deaf member who lost last month Dingo jackpot, the biggest ever. Deaf officials were taken into custody and released on signature bond. A spokesman for the Governor's Task Force on Gambling stated "gambling in any form is illegal and the Deaf thought they can get around the law. I thought dingo is an Australian wild dog roaming in the outbacks.

2013-07-12

Stay

What is the differences in the meaning of the word "stay" in both English and ASL. Here's my observations:

Case Study # 1: The hearing parents tells his children to "stay"  (voice) in the car while they goes into the store to buy a pack of beers.

Case Study # 2: A Deaf person instructed his beer can to "stay" (sign) on the bar counter while he goes to the bathroom.

Undercover Deaf


Case # 1: This Deaf individual disguised himself and went undercover to a Deaf event, a regional bowling tournament, watching everyone gossiping behind his back, now he knows who his real friends are!
 
Case # 2: This Deaf individual disguised himself and went undercover to go to a job interview again so he will have a witness, himself, to prove discrimination. The court accepts "me and I" as witnesses, winning a lawsuit.
 
Case # 3: This Deaf individual disguised himself and wentundercover to investigate, on behalf of the IRS, to those Deaf not reporting their income from their multi-level-marketing (MLM) scams, taking advantages of vulnerable Deaf people, as well as ripping of taxpayers receiving SSI benefits they don't deserve themselves. This Deaf informant is now in the Witness Protect Program with a new identity.