Deaf Anthology # 216: "Deaf Horoscope"

Horoscope been around since ancient times as man seek guidance from the stars.
ARIES: Your court appearance have been postponed once again for a parking ticket you got in 1962 because they still couldn't find an interpreter for you. TAURUS: Replace the garbage disposal that burned out after running for several weeks, that explains why your bed vibrates during that time.
GEMINI: "I wasn't speeding," but the sheriff stopped you asking that your muffler needs to be replaced, rattling the peaceful town.
CANCER: You wondered why so many "For Sale" signs in your neighborhood after adopting a cute Deaf puppy from the Humane Society.
LEO: You read a popular blog about a Deaf woman describing her affairs with several men, not realizing that it's your wife.
VIRGO: Your Deaf pastor wanted to know why you purchased a $500 brick to donate to Gallaudet, and not a penny in the offering plate.
LIBRA: You stopped masturbating after your daughter got a job as a relay operator, preventing you from those 900 sex lines.
SCORPIO: Isn't your fault if the factory blown apart, not being trained to handled hazardous materials since they refused to provide an interpreter at safety talks.
SAGITTARIUS: The family enjoyed free open-captioned movies every week, with "We're sorry..." passes for the delays after forgetting to turn it on.
CAPRICORN: You were terminated after 15 years on the job for 15 seconds of fame on local news your boss watch on the day you call in sick attending an AFA rally.
AQUARIUS: Got off in Dublin instead of Detroit, no wonder your flight so long, free vouchers to get drunk at the local pub, and a meal of corned beef and cabbages.
PISCES: "Show me your, and I will show you mind," the nude model at tonight's painting class was the same interpreter at your prostate exam. (isn't she beautiful, right inset)
If today is your birthday, then why are you wasting time reading Deaf Anthology, get on with your life.
Revised 3/19/09


This is an Aquarius, stay tuned for the next horoscope on Deaf Anthology. Good night, Deaf America.