Adam: "Why isn't Dad with us?"
Laura: "Dad is on another business trip, racking up miles so we can be together on our family trip to Disney World later this summer." (Laura haven't yet told Adam that they are separated)
Boss: "That Sorenson Videophone been an asset to communicate with all your Deaf clients and your family."
Dan: "Actually, I haven't been using it awhile since there is a boycott..."
Boss: "I regret to tell you that our company been a victim of a hostile takeover by a medical manufacturer, and since you are our PR guy, we want you to issue a press release."
Dan: "OK, anything else?"
Boss: "Yes, the new CEO heard that you have a Deaf son, have you considered a CI procedure."
Dan: "Adam, no way, that's unthinkable."
Boss: "We are now a major distributor of CI medical devices, the CEO feels that you shouldn't be in the PR department, a conflict of interest, he's giving you 90 days for your son to have a CI procedure or you be let go."
Dan: "All these years I work here, even my father-in law wrote a book on Deaf Culture that we distribute."
Boss: "The CEO don't care, profits is what drives us, we will concentrate on medical hardware, the publisher can sell your father-in-law books on Amazon, not through us."
Dan: "Life is unfair."
Boss: "You got 90 days, you are not the only one getting the pink slips..."
ER, LA Medical Complex
Laura: "What happened?"Dan: "Adam almost got hit by a train on the bridge."
Adam: "That isn't so, I knew a freight train is coming, I felt the vibrations on the track, and push Dad out of the way, and injured myself in the bushes."
Laura: "There are two versions, which am I going to believe."
Doctor: "Dan, you are lucky that your son, Adam, saved your life, police been taking witnesses' statements."
Dan: "Sorry I lied, I didn't hear the train coming." (apologized to Adam)
Adam: "We learned that you can see a lightning before you hear the thunder, lucky Dad wasn't zapped yet." (smile)
Dan: "I been talking to the doctors here, they think that we should considered getting Adam a CI procedure."
Laura: "No way, as a matter of fact, I think you should considered a PI (penile implant)procedure, since the doctor won't prescribe Viagra due to your heart condition, our sex life is at a standstill."
Adam: "Dad, what's a PI?"
Dan: "Your Mom was talking about a Private-Investigator crime drama she saw last night involving a Deaf suspect."
LA Courtroom
Judge: "May I remind the court that this is a custody case, not a debate on the CI issue."
Psychologist: "The average Deaf child graduate from high school with a 4th grade reading level..."
Smokey: "Deafread, don't worry about this psychologist, our friends will take care of him."
DEF: "Tonight, two bears escaped from the LA zoo, and attacked a psychologist who just recently testified at a court hearing, on Interstate 10 downtown, the bear returned to his den after snacking on the roast beef sandwiches stolen from the psychologist and the other licking off the sweats on his bald forehead, zoo officials fired the zookeeper who forgotten to feed them at their scheduled time."
John: "That bear was lucky, the Chips were stuck in traffic."
Jason: "He's now a celebrity." (zoo attendances actually increases since)
Jeffrey: "Scarred the hell out of that guy." (laughing)
Joan: "It's a change of pace, from all that freeway shootings"
Adam's Birthday Party
Dan: "Adam, we got ourselves a Pinata, here's a baseball bat and take a swing at it, here's your blindfold." (Adam takes a swing and misses, hits Charlie, the CI kid, Laura calls 911, Dan removes the metal bat from the magnet above Charlie's ear where it struck, ambulance arrives, takes the child to the hospital. parents left, threatening to file a lawsuit over the incident)
Laura: "No worry, we got liability coverage, last year Adam pinned his grandfather, missing the donkey."
Bedtime
Adam: "Dad, thank you for the set of drums on my birthday."
Dan: "You can feel the sounds."
Adam: "Good Night!"
Dan: "I am going to the bar to meet up with my friends."
Laura: "Stay sober!" (Dan left, Adam unable to sleep, play his drums, causing a racket, neighbors called police)
LA Courtroom
Lawyer: "May we come to the bench?" (both lawyers approaches the judge)
Judge: "Yes."
Lawyer: "I offered to settle this matter with a duel, each selects a pistol, ..."
Judge: "Absolutely not..."
Lawyer: "It was just an afterthought since we are over budget producing this movie for CBS."
Judge: "Stick with the script." (everyone in the courtroom drinks Pepsi)
Smokey: "Since we are over budget, we agreed to accept a product placement fee from Pepsi so we can complete our production on time."
Weekend
Adam: "Can I go outside and play."
Boy: "Alien" (boy teasing Adam)
Adam: "You think me nothing?" (mother told the boy to apologized, but Adam left and went to his bedroom in anger, now in front of his iMac, using relay)
Laura: "The boy here to apologized and want you to come out and play soccer."
Adam: "No" (immigration officials arrives at the scene to take the boy and his family away)
Dan: "Adam, what did you do?"
Adam: "Those boys been teasing me all year, calling me an alien, so I called immigration, they can play soccer in Mexico."
Laura: "They were your friends."
Adam: "No, they are illegal aliens, putting a burden on our society."
Parents
Ma: "Tell her now."
Pa: "I am sorry, I admitted now that you are not my child..."
Laura: "What?"
Pa: "You were adopted."
Ma: "We couldn't conceived a child..."
Laura: "Why?" (Laura left, obviously upset, Dan saw the whole conversation from the second floor bedroom window)
Kitchen
Dan: "Laura, I have something to tell you..." (Laura still crying)
Laura: "Is it about Adam?"
Dan: "The new CEO gave me an ultimate, either Adam have a CI procedure or I am out of a job..."
Laura: "I don't need this, I thought family is important..."
Dan: "Yes, I need this job to support our family..."
Laura: "You willing to sacrificed our son for your selfish reasons, how dare you..." (Adam on the staircase upset seeing his parents are breaking up, runs away from home)
Dan: "Where's Adam, he's not in bed?"
Laura: "Get in the car, he might be at the ballpark." (Adam found alone in the dugout)
Dan: "Adam, you got your Mom worried."
Adam: "It's my fault that you are breaking up." (tears)
Laura: "That's not true, we both love you, even though both of us have our own splats."
Dan: "Come on home, we will stop at the Dairy Queen on the way."
Sandlot
Grandpa: "Here's a story of Dummy Hoy..."Adam: "Enough, grandpa, you told me that same story over a thousand times." (Adam swing the bat, hits the ball over the fence, hitting Charlie, the CI kid again above the ear...)
Dan: "Let's get out of here, before his parents see us..."
Dinner
Laura: "Poor Charlie, wrong place at the wrong time."
Adam: "Whoever says that lightning don't hit twice."
Dan: "I'm going to the bar to meet up with my buddies, you have a good evening watching an open-captioned film, Leatherheads, tonight with your Little League team, and pizza afterwards."
Turf Bar & Grill
John: "Dan, you good old bastard, how's your day, you owe me a drink."
Dan: "A round for my buddies."
CEO: "Dan, surprised to see you here, it's good that your son made the Little League team, unfortunately we will not be sponsoring your team this season, due to budget restraints."
Dan: "Why, it's been our presence in the community for generations, I don't understand..."
CEO: "That's unimportant, so you getting your kid a CI procedure or not..." (CEO left bar)
Coach: "What are you doing here, you didn't join us at the party..."
Dan: "My wife and I had to make a decision, to have Adam undergo a CI procedure."
Coach: "Let me remind you that if your son, get that damn CI, he's off the team, as our insurance refuses to provide liability coverage for such players."
Dan: "That's unfair."
Coach: "Now you know why your CEO refuses to sponsor our team because we don't accept CI kids, all he cares about is his spreadsheets, stuffing the shareholders pockets, not giving back to the community."
Dan: "Is that true..."
Laura: "Why you got home so early..."
Dan: "I got my priorities straighten out, it's God, family, baseball, and job in that order...and I quit my job and Adam is not getting that CI procedure because I want him to grow up and play in the majors."
Laura: "I am so proud of you..."
Dan: "We are going to tell the judge we're family."
Adam: "Father and Mother, I Love You." (Dan calls his boss and told him to take this job and shove it, then calls his lawyer to file a lawsuit against his former employer, the medical manaufacture agreed to an out of court settlement in the millions)
Dan: "We are all going to Disney World." (hugs)
Commentary: "Sweet Something In My Ears left us all in limbo, not knowing the parents' decision, it can go either way, at least the Deaf Anthology version you know the conclusion, Dan got himself a new job with the largest public relations firm in Los Angeles, Laura takes a leave of absence from her teaching job to be there for Adam, they had a good time at Disney World, and Andy became took his team to the Little League world championship in Williamsport, get a workout with the Dodgers as their new batboy, he is on the right track to the majors."
Revised (4/22/08)
This is Smokey, stay tuned for the next episode of Deaf Anthology. Good Night, Deaf America!
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