Deaf Anthology: Deaf Anthology 22: "Disorderly-Conduct"

John: "Joan, answer the VP please, I am still busy writing the script."

Joan: "That was the Principal, they want us to come pick up our son, Jason, as he was suspended for fighting in the school cafeteria." (John saves the script on his computer, left the garage driving the Hummer)

John: "What has Jason done this time?"

Principal: "We had to suspend Jason because he was fighting in the school cafeteria." (two Old Greenfield police officers were also in the room along with Jason.)

John: "Boys will be boys, couldn't the teachers handled the situation themselves?"

Principal: "This situation is different, Jason knocked out a boy with C.I."

John: "It was a TKO (technical knock-out), Great!,I taught him everything and I'm proud of him."

Officer Bob (Old Greenfield Police): "I don't think so, he is getting a citation for disorderly-conduct."

John: "Wait a minute it's unfair, children fights all the time during the school year, and you always handled the situation every time but why us, just because a C.I. child was involved." (Joey enters the room.)

Joey: "G'day, Am I in trouble again, mates?"

John: "No, it's Jason this time."

Joey: "Now, we're even." (Old Greenfield Police gave the boys the N.Y. Mets baseball cards and reminded them to stay out of trouble.)

John: "Boys, we got ourselves the Hummer so let's stop at McDonald for a McRib"

Jason: "Dad, how can you afford it, did you win the lottery?"

John: "No, I read in the Sunday newspaper that you can test drive any GM for twenty-four hours so that's what I'm doing, all I need to do is have a credit card check, proof of insurance, not to use it off-road or out of state, and return it to the dealer with the gas tank full, the only restriction is that we can't test drive it on a weekend, maybe next week we can test drive a Corvette, O.K!"

Joey: "Jason, what happened at school?"

Jason: "You know Charlie, the C.I. kid, who got ahead of me in the cafeteria line and I just knocked him out, you should have seen it, Charlie peed in his pants when I lifted him up."

Joey: "At least we don't have to take that Algebra test, we didn't study last night, we were watching Kid Nation instead."

John: "I'm not paying that $150 disorderly-conduct citation, we're going to the DA (District Attorney) next month to contest it."

McDonald's

John: "We want three McRibs, french fries, and the real thing, Coca-Cola." (Smokey's commentary: The drive-in are a good place to practice your speech, as you don't always get what you ordered!)

Jason: "Dad, why Filet-o-Fish, I thought you ordered McRibs?"

Joey: "It must be what the family behind us ordered, your Dad not good speech."

John: "We're home, you better study your Algebra before your soccer practice this afternoon." (John went out front to pick up the mail.)

Joan: "Any mail today?"

Jill: "Daddy!"

John: "Yes, a few, a TDI renewal notice, the "Wrong Game" flyers, and a couple of letters from the courts, a couple of class-action lawsuits, and the mortgage bill."

Jim: "Dad, I'm going to the mall to hang out with my friends, I need the keys."

John: "Drive safely!"

Joan: "I met a couple at the grocery store with a C.I. toddler, she is so..."

John: "Don't even mention it."

Joan: "Here's your newspaper."

Jason and Jeffrey: "What's news."

John: "There is this article about two roommates of a dead man in New York City trying to cash his Social Security check, they went to a local bank, but the teller told them that the person whose name is on the check must appear in person to endorse it. They went back to their apartment and put the dead body in a chair from the den, and pushed him into the bank, one holding his head up. The teller asked what's wrong with their friend. They told him he was just tired. Someone became suspicious and called police. They were arrested for check fraud."

Joan: "I am sure any judge will have a field day handling this case, and the jury outburst in laughter."

Revised (1/12/08)